Seeing Yourself Clearly: A Journey to Self-Awareness

Let’s be honest — most of us are walking around with at least one “bald spot” we can’t see. I discovered this quite literally one day while shopping for jeans at the Gap. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and saw a huge bald spot on the crown of my head. Instinctively, I reached back to feel it. Surely, this couldn’t be right. I looked at my wife, looked back at the mirror, then back at her, and blurted out, “Why didn’t you tell me I’m going bald?” She just smiled and said, “I thought you knew.”

That moment became one of my favorite examples when teaching on self-awareness. We all have things about ourselves that everyone else can see, but we remain completely blind to — until someone holds up a mirror.

Why Seeing Yourself Clearly Matters

Before you can improve as a leader, you have to see yourself as you really are. Jesus actually warned us about pretending. The word “hypocrite” in the New Testament means “actor” — someone wearing a mask. Jesus confronted the Pharisees, not because they tried to obey God’s law, but because they were play-acting. They made a big show of being spiritual while missing the deeper call to humility and mercy.

James 1:22–25 uses another metaphor — a mirror. If you hear the truth but don’t do anything about it, it’s like looking in a mirror, seeing what you look like, and then forgetting the moment you walk away.

James 1:23-24 (ESV)

"For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like."

Self-awareness is about integration — letting what we see in the mirror change us. That means facing both the inspiring and uncomfortable truths about who we are and responding to the Holy Spirit as he leads us into growth.

The Johari Window: A Simple Map for Self-Awareness

One helpful tool is something called the Johari Window, developed in 1955 by psychologists Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham. It maps out four quadrants of your life:

• Open Area (Arena): What you know about yourself and others know too.

• Hidden Area (Facade): What you know but keep private.

• Blind Spot: What others can see about you but you can’t.

• Unknown: What no one knows — yet.

  
  

Leadership growth often happens when we shrink the blind spot (by seeking feedback) and reduce the hidden area (by being more open and authentic). The Holy Spirit brings light into areas of our life that are unknown when we seek His guidance, revealing things we did not even know. The more we do this, the more trust and alignment we build with others.

Psalm 51:10-12 ESV.

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.

What the Bible Says About Seeing Yourself Clearly

God is deeply concerned with our self-awareness — not so we can feel shame, but so we can grow into who He created us to be.

• Moses struggled at first: “Who am I?” he asked at the burning bush (Ex. 3:11). His self-assessment was too low. God patiently reminded him, “I will be with you.” True self-awareness is a mix of humility and trust in God’s sufficiency.

• Paul writes honestly about his inner battle (Romans 7). He sees his shortcomings clearly but lets that insight push him toward grace: “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!”

• Gideon starts by calling himself “the least” (Judges 6:15), but God calls him “mighty warrior” before he feels like one. Sometimes we need God’s perspective to see the strengths we overlook.

  
  

Even Jesus modeled self-awareness. He knew who He was, what His mission was, and what His human limitations were. He rested when He needed to, prayed constantly, and welcomed questions and challenges without defensiveness. His approachability was a hallmark of who He was.

Strengths Can Be Just as Hard to See as Weaknesses

When I developed a 360° leadership assessment with my team years ago, I assumed the hardest part for leaders would be confronting their weaknesses. I was wrong. Most leaders already knew their weaknesses. Rarely was it the first time they had heard about a particular weakness area. There was, of course, a lot of defensiveness around these areas, but they were at least familiar that others experienced their weaknesses around them.

What they struggled with most was owning and articulating their strengths. When asked to say their top three strengths out loud, people would stutter, argue with the results, or try to downplay them. Their voices would shake as they read good things written about them — not because they were being falsely humble, but because they truly hadn’t owned and integrated those strengths yet.

Sometimes Your Greatest Blind Spots Are Actually Your Gifts

It’s fascinating how we can overlook our own gifts. Have you ever noticed that? The very things that make us unique can feel so ordinary that we dismiss them. This is where the power of feedback comes in. Seeking input from others can help illuminate those hidden strengths.

How to Get Better Feedback (and Avoid the Leadership Bubble)

The higher you rise in leadership, the harder it is to get honest feedback. People start filtering what they say because they don’t want to disappoint you or get on your bad side. Here are a few ways to keep the feedback loop alive:

• Create safety: Let people know that honest input won’t be punished.

• Ask better questions: Instead of “How am I doing?” try, “What’s one thing I could do differently to serve you better?”

• Reward honesty: Thank people for speaking up — even if it stings.

• Act on what you hear: When people see you making changes, they’ll trust you more and keep talking.

  
  

Leadership Exercise: Your Self-Awareness Inventory

Take some time to work through this simple five-step exercise:

1. Your Honest Self-Assessment: Write down your top 3–5 strengths, your biggest limitations, what gives you energy, and what drains you.

2. God’s Assessment: Pray through your answers and ask God to show you His perspective — affirming what is true and revealing where He wants to grow you.

3. External Feedback: Ask three people who know you well for one strength they see in you and one thing you could do differently.

4. Growth Plan: Pick one strength to maximize and one limitation to work on over the next 30 days.

5. Follow-Up: Set a reminder to revisit your answers in a month and gather more feedback.

   
   

Reflection Questions

• Where do you feel most secure in who you are as a leader?

• Which of Moses’ excuses sound most like yours when facing a challenge?

• What strengths do others see in you that you tend to dismiss or minimize?

• Who are the safe people in your life who can tell you the truth?

• What step could you take this week to shrink your blind spot?

  
  

Bottom Line: The Spiritual Practice of Self-Awareness

Seeing yourself clearly is not just a leadership skill — it’s a spiritual practice. It leads to humility, deeper dependence on God, and greater freedom to lead with confidence and grace.

Would you like some feedback on your strengths and weaknesses? Sometimes a good coach can help draw these out. With 27 years of ministry experience and my background in coaching and consulting, I may be able to help you or your team be more effective and self-aware. To book a coaching session with me CLICK HERE.